On Moving

Eau Claire, WI November 2019

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,  a time to kill and a time to heal," (Ecc. 3:1-8)

Right now I'm in a season of planting myself into a new place after just uprooting. I moved from Wisconsin back to Michigan just last month, in fact, it's only been a couple weeks and the emotions that I've been feeling look a lot like the grief cycle. At first I was depressed and cried like no other, whenever I told someone I was moving it was followed with a tear dropping from my eye. Then I was in denial and didn't really think I was moving, and I bargained to stay where I was living for a while. Eventually I accepted it: I was moving back to Michigan.

I originally moved to Wisconsin for an adventure. I applied to school, to UWEC, and my acceptance letter was in my sister's mailbox when I moved in. I moved June 2013, and stayed for six years. I didn't think I'd be there that long, but Eau Claire has a magnetic magic in which only people who've lived there could probably only understand.

I grew up visiting Eau Claire, I was a Bon Iver fan (still am) and kinda geeked out about living in the same city as Justin Vernon. I knew I liked the size of the city, and the location, so on one road trip back from Wisconsin to Michigan, my dad and I talked about the idea of me moving there. It was a done deal, and then I got settled in and realized I wanted to move back, but I didn't. Instead I fell in love with life again. I met people who loved God, started going to a church, and started making friends. I found out I loved coffee, exploring the different parks, and was enamored by all the musical talent in my newfound city and home. Fast forward to six years later, as I'm holding back tears dropping off my key onto the island counter the day I moved out.

Often people ask me, "Why'd you move to Michigan?" and I can only answer with one phrase, "I needed a change." I felt myself becoming complacent in all areas of my life, spiritually and mentally, and frankly, just needed some space. I wanted to live closer to my parents and family, as Eau Claire was a solid ten hour drive away.

I asked for signs, I asked people advice, I made a plan, and I drove the whole ten hours back to Michigan as the winter air started whispering over the state. No snow, just a quiet sun that reflected through my rearview mirror, the only way I was looking back was through that mirror.

Now, a common thing I think about is, "Why would I leave a place and people I love?" The only answer I have is, I have faith that I can find that kind of magic here, too. I've become braver over the years and the option of moving scared me, so I said, "Let's do it." I always try to choose the option that tests me the most because it's the only way I know I will grow.

I know I could grow in Wisconsin, I did for six years, but I'm choosing joy here in Michigan. I'm so grateful for the life I built there, and will continue to do what I did there, here. Now, I'm still in a transition, the stage I'm in is sadness. I'm sad I left, but I know when one door closes another door opens, sometimes two. I'll be seeking a job in the bigger cities in Michigan, and until then I'll be working at a photography studio as an assistant. I'll also be helping out at a downtown gallery and custom framing shop, which excites me.

This season is essential in my life, to grow in patience before I get to where I want to be. I'm slowly beginning to trust that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

I have so many fears, but mostly hope.