I have a voice. Black lives matter.

Sometimes I don't know what to say. Sometimes it takes me a while to process something. It takes me days to understand because of either the shock, denial, or hurt that I can feel. As I write this, I can't help but tear up. I'm devastated that the world and nation in 2020 is still a similar replica to the times of the past. It's the same today as back then, it feels like. As a woman who is white and living in Michigan, I grew up with some privilege for my skin color. I had friends of color growing up, and never thought twice about it. I grew up not being prejudice, but definitely can look back now and see that maybe there were people I encountered who did.

I am a practicing Christian, which sometimes it grieves me when I don't listen to God or do the right thing, but I do follow Jesus and want to be more like Him. This post isn't about me, but I do have a voice and I want to share it. What happened last week to an innocent black man makes me horrified. It makes me angry and upset that murder is happening still because of the color of your skin. I wish I could do everything and yet I find myself unsure of how to start. Slowly, I'm checking my own heart, am I acting like Jesus in this day and age? Am I leading people to Christ? Am I loving? Or am I comfortable with sitting silent, crawling under the covers and letting other people do the work? I'm repenting, changing, and finding ways to be a better example of a white Christian. I have a voice that can move throughout my city. I have a voice that can encourage and help heal. I'm disgusted and heartbroken about the innocent life of George Floyd being taken in Minneapolis, MN just a week ago. There needs to be justice! I'll do my part. I'm educating myself and donating to causes because that's what I can personally contribute and do right now. I'm heartbroken for anyone who fears for their life on a daily basis, or feels threatened by someone. I'm heartbroken for our nation's division right now. I pray for better days and for a world change. I hope this time of uncertainty brings people to their knees in prayer begging God for a change of hearts and for the racism to stop, for good.

A scripture I can really take to heart is 2 Timothy 2:22: "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

For all my friends, acquaintances, and co-workers of color, I empathize with you and I stand with you. Black lives matter and we as a country need to do better.